Saturday, September 6, 2008

Skeet Shooters for Obama

Here's the deal, Sarah Palin. Since Hillary is busy...doing who knows what, I volunteer to step up and do the right thing.

On behalf of the Independents and Democratic women everywhere, I challenge Sarah Palin to a skeet shoot. A what? our urban friends may ask. I'll take her on with my shotgun, and we'll keep score as to how many clay pigeons each of us blasts into smithereens.

Start quaking in your mukluks, Palin. When I was a twelve-year-old, I joined my dad and uncles in my grandparents' backyard in rural Michigan to blast away at the flying targets. I won the high praise of my country kin and that was with a hefty 12-gauge. Imagine what I'd do with a 20 gauge equipped with a poly choke like some folks. My point being, you're not the only 40-something able to get the job done.

And if that's not fun enough for you, I'll fly up to your neck of the woods and have a go at bagging a moose--it's gotta have antlers, though. I'm all for culling a herd if needed but not a mama moose. And to go one-step further, I'll bet my Bowie knife against yours that I can gut it faster. And if you don't want to take me on, I'm sure my cousin Debbie, who knows her way around high-powered rifles and elk, would oblige.

Or, if you prefer, let's have a fishing contest. I once skinned and gutted a mess of bluegill sunfish with my jackknife. And that was before I knew you should pierce the fish's brain so he doesn't have to live through the ordeal. We could get our rods, reels and worms and see who can get the biggest thing with fins.

So how about it? If you don't mind messing up your manicure, just have your people get back to my people so that we can start cutting your myth down to size.

You're not the only shooting mama, and this one's for OBAMA!

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